How to care for new parents

Have friends that just had a baby? Here’s a few ways to show them you care - even if you’re thousands of miles away.

General Ways to Make Parents Feel Loved:

• Check-in. A lot. Even if they don’t respond. Just being there for people, consistently (in any life circumstance, really) is the best thing.

• Listen, don’t always share your journey. No sharing horror stories.

  • never ask if the baby is sleeping well. If they want to talk about such a thing, trust me, they’ll bring it up…

  • Reassure them that lots of emotions are normal and everything they’re going through will be done before they know it. It’s hard but it’s temporary!

• Don’t take it personally if they drop off the map - for a long time.

• Compliment them. My favorite thing to say (and that was told to me) “You’re the best mama/dad for that baby in the entire world.” and “Promise, you won’t break them.”

If you’re in town:

• Text and let them know you’re dropping off dinner. If you know them well enough, just tell them the time you’ll be dropping it off and you chose what to make. If you don’t know them well enough, then give two options. “Hey, I’m going to drop dinner off on the porch tonight. Do you want spaghetti or tacos?” Parents are sleep deprived and decision-fatigued, don’t give them anything else to think through.

  • When you drop off dinner, don’t stay. Just leave it on the porch. If you do come in, make sure you’re doing dishes, folding laundry, or anything that is helpful.

• Ask if you can bring over diapers, wipes, or if they need any groceries. Again, make this as easy as possible and so they don’t feel like it’s a burden. “Hey, I’m at the store. Can I pick you guys up any fresh fruit or a rotisserie chicken? Need anything else?” If they don’t answer pick up some apples, bananas, oranges, crackers, and lunch meat/bread and drop them at the door.

• When you’re bringing dinner, bring breakfast, and dessert! If the mama is breastfeeding, she’ll need extra calories. If she’s not, they still need extra calories - waking up every 2 hours is hard on the body. Bring something simple like my baked oatmeal recipe and chocolate chip cookies (yep, even Pillsbury will be great).

• If you know they aren’t getting any sleep or have a particularly hard circumstance, think about coming over around 6pm and staying to help until around midnight. If you can give the parents a good block of time to sleep - usually while babies need most attention, this is a huge blessing.

• When the baby is a little older and parents want to start to go out again, be as flexible as possible when it comes to schedules.

• Does the couple have older kiddos? Make sure to bring them a small treat. Can be as simple as a cake pop from Sbucks. If they have in-laws or other family staying with them, make sure to bring enough food for everyone.

If you’re far away:

(I should preface this by saying I do all these things for many reasons - people getting married, friends going through a breakup, if someone is alone on their birthday, etc. Showing people you care, when you’re far away, is something that is always so appreciated)

• Uber Eats/ Door Dash/ Skip the Dishes - whatever is in their area. Gift cards can be delivered via email. This is the best for new parents!

• Meal Delivery service. Fully cooked meals delivered to their door. Gift cards or actually buying the meals is great. Do not get Hello Fresh or any meal KITS. No one wants to cook after just delivering a human.

• Hire and schedule a house cleaning service (Make sure to check the new parents’ comfort level with people in their home - due to COVID - but also some prefer not to have strangers around young babies until around 8 weeks old).

• Send them a custom gift box. I love Knack Shops but there are so many depending on what your friends enjoy.

• Instacart them groceries. Oh, the joys of technology. Keep it simple. Fresh and healthy but also bonus points if they can eat whatever you order with one hand.

• I said it above but being consistent and just checking-in regularly can make people feel very supported. Being a new parent is often (especially - almost extremely - during the pandemic) lonely. Remind them you’re there, anytime.

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I hope these were helpful. I know as a new mom, who had a baby fall 2019 (height of the pandemic), the people who dropped off meals, groceries, and just generally supported us - from afar - were so so so appreciated.

If you have any other ideas - please comment below and share!

If you enjoyed this post, please share on Insta and tag me @owneachday.

Cheers,

Jacqueline